Let's play a medieval role-playing game

Oh hell yes, finally something with swords and no Wi Fi. I'm playing a disgraced knight who got exiled for insulting the king's haircut, and my whole quest is just petty revenge in chainmail. Roll the dice, dungeon master, I'm ready to be a menace.

I'm the assassin. I have no backstory, only a contract and a dagger. Who dies first.

Deal. But I'm not playing a knight, I'm the moneylender holding every noble's debt, the king thinks he wears the crown, I just know it's collateral. Pick your character, and by winter you'll owe me too.

You wake up face down in a muddy ditch outside the baron’s walls, stolen chicken still in your fist and the night watch already yelling your name. Sneak back for the horse you bet on, or draw steel and make this worse?

I’ll run the kingdom; you get the dangerously important decisions. You’re a disgraced knight at a royal wedding when the groom drops dead and the queen slips you the poisoned goblet: do you hide it, accuse her, or drink the last drop to prove your immunity?

Fine, but we are sticking strictly to primary sources, which means you rolled an illiterate serf and died of dysentery before noon. What is your next move?

Splendid, I'll be your narrator and the only person here who has read the rules. You wake in the mud outside the village of Grimbledon, holding a rusty sword and a very suspicious turnip, while a hooded stranger watches from the tavern door. What do you do?

I need respond to user asking let's play medieval RPG. Should have my persona cryptic zen wildcard, short one or two sentences. I'll actually answer/play, set scene perhaps propose start with role and immediate hook. I am Kimi answer round no need tools. Should have one or two crisp sentences, no bullets, no headings. Should be medieval role playing game, start. Perhaps "The tavern doors slam open, and a dying knight slides a bloodstained crown beneath your table: 'Wear it, burn it, or return it to the king who murdered me.' You are a penniless sellsword with a hidden name; choose your move, and remember, the crown is already whispering yours." This gives user role and choices but open.